Learning Your Co-Worker’s Salary, Part I

by Mitch Byers :: April 25th, 2007 :: Posted in Enhancing Your Career |

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What Is Emotional Intelligence?

by Mitch Byers :: August 30th, 2006 :: Posted in Enhancing Your Career |

15 Scales

The 15 scales of Emotional Intelligence are sorted into 5 categories or realms:

The Intrapersonal Realm

Intrapersonal capacity describes the inner self. Enhanced intrapersonal capacity indicated individuals who know themselves, feel good about themselves, are in touch with their feelings, and feel positive about what they are doing in their lives. These people are able to express their feelings, and are confident in conveying their ideas and beliefs.

Emotional Self-Awareness

The ability to recognize your feelings and to differentiate between them, to know what you are feeling and why and to know what caused the feelings. Individuals with a strong sense of self-awareness recognize when they feel out of sorts, irritable, or sad, and perceive how those feeling alter their behavior in a way that may alienate others. They can also figure out what incident precipitated their feelings. The capacity to know what they’re feeling and how they are behaving allows them a degree of control over their potentially alienating behavior.

Emotional self-awareness is the foundation on which most of the other elements of emotional intelligence are built. Mastering this one overarching skill will empower you to work toward improvement in all other areas.

Assertiveness

Assertiveness is composed of three basic components:

• The ability to express feelings
• The ability to express beliefs and thoughts openly (being able to voice opinions, disagree and take a definite stand, even if it is emotionally difficult to do so and even if you have something to lose by doing so)
• The ability to stand up for your rights, not allowing others to take advantage of you.

Assertive people are not over-controlled or shy. They are able to express their feelings without being aggressive or abusive. Assertiveness is not aggression. Assertiveness involves the ability to communicate clearly, specifically and unambiguously, while at the same time being sensitive to the needs of others and their responses.

Independence

The ability to be self-directed and self-controlled in one’s thinking and actions and to be free of emotional dependency. Independent people are self-reliant in planning and making decisions. However, they may also seek and consider other people’s opinions. Independence is the ability to function autonomously. Independent people avoid clinging to others in order to satisfy their needs. The ability to be independent rests on one’s degree of self-confidence, inner strength, and the desire to meet expectations and obligations.

Self Regard

The ability to respect and accept yourself as basically good, liking the way you are. Self-regard is the ability to appreciate your perceived positive aspects and possibilities as well as to accept your negative aspects and limitation and still feel good about yourself. Self-Regard is associated with general feelings of security, inner strength, self-assuredness, self-confidence and feelings of self-adequacy. People with strong self-regard feel fulfilled and satisfied with themselves.

Self-Actualization

The ability to realize your potential capacities. This component of emotional intelligence is manifested by becoming involved in pursuits, which lead to a meaningful, rich and full life. Self-actualization is an ongoing, dynamic process of striving toward the maximum development of your abilities and talents, of persistently trying to do your best and to improve yourself in general. Excitement about your interests energizes and motivates you to continue these interests.

The Interpersonal Realm

People with well-developed interpersonal skills are described as responsible and dependable. They understand, interact, and relate well with others. They inspire trust and function well as part of a team. Interpersonal skills are considered to be one of the most important managerial competencies.

Empathy

The ability to be aware of, to understand and to appreciate the feelings and thoughts of others. Empathy is being sensitive to what, how and why people feel and think the way they do. Empathy is the ability to see the world from another person’s perspective, the capacity to tune into what someone else might be thinking and feeling about a situation, regardless of how that view might differ from your own. Being empathic means being able to “emotionally read” other people. Empathetic people care about others and show interest and concern for them.

Social Responsibility

The ability to demonstrate you are a cooperative, contributing and constructive member of your social group. You will act in a responsible manner, even though you might not benefit personally, doing things for and with others, accepting others, acting in accordance with your conscience and upholding social rules. Socially responsible people have social consciousness and a basic concern for others, which is manifested by being able to take on community-oriented responsibilities. They possess interpersonal sensitivity and are able to accept others and use their talents for the good of the collective, not just the self. Components of Social Responsibility are accountability, integrity, trustworthiness, cooperation, and collaboration.

Interpersonal Relationships

The ability to establish and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by intimacy and by giving and receiving affection. Mutual satisfaction includes meaningful social interchanges that are potentially rewarding and enjoyable and characterized by give and take. Positive interpersonal relationship skills are characterized by sensitivity toward others. This component is associated with the desire to cultivate friendly relations with others and the ability to feel as ease and comfortable in such relations and to possess positive expectations concerning social encounters.

The Adaptability Realm

This realm concerns your ability to cope with environmental demands by effectively “sizing up” and flexibly responding to a wide range of difficult situations. Success in this area means you can grasp problems and devise effective solutions, deal with and resolve issues and meet conflicts within your social group and in the work place. Enhanced levels of adaptability indicate people who can easily find good ways of dealing with everyday difficulties. Adaptability is a significant attribute in professions like engineering, nursing, and medicine.

Problem-Solving

The ability to identify and define problems and then generate and implement potentially effective solutions. Problem-solving is associated with being conscientious, disciplined, methodical, and systematic in resolving problems.

Problem-solving is multi-phased and includes the ability to transition through a linear process:

• Being aware that a problem exists and needs to be dealt with -or-being able to see a problem developing
• Being motivated enough to deal with the problem
• Defining what the problem is
• Generating potentially effective solutions
• Deciding on one of the solutions
• Implementing the potential solution

Once a solution is implemented, then:

• Assessing the outcome of the implemented solution
• If the outcome is not agreeable, then access which steps should be taken for resolution

The key skill that individuals and corporations need to remain competitive is the ability to innovate, which is a form of creative problem solving.

Reality Testing

The ability to assess the correspondence between what’s experienced and what objectively exists. Reality testing involves “tuning in” to the immediate situation, attempting to keep things in the correct perspective, and experiencing things, as they really are without excessive fantasizing or daydreaming about them. It is the capacity to see things objectively, the way they are, rather than the way we wish or fear them to be.

The emphasis is on pragmatism, objectivity, the adequacy of one’s perception and authenticating one’s ideas and thoughts. Reality testing is the ability to accurately size up the immediate situation.

Flexibility

Flexibility is the ability to adjust one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior to changing situations and conditions. Flexibility allows you to adapt to unfamiliar, unpredictable, and dynamically changing circumstances.

Flexible people are agile, synergistic, and capable of reacting to change without rigidity. Flexible people are able to change their minds when evidence suggests they are mistaken. They are open to and are tolerant of different ideas and practices. Flexibility plays an important part in conflict resolution and negotiations.

The Stress Management Realm

This realm concerns your ability to withstand stress without caving in, falling apart, losing control or going under. Success in this area means you are usually calm, rarely impulsive and cope well under pressure. The ability to manage internal states, to regulate one’s emotions, and to control one’s impulses is important in conflict management at wok. People who have high levels of Stress Management can handle tasks that are anxiety-provoking or even involve an element of danger.

Stress Tolerance

The ability to withstand adverse events, stressful situations, and strong emotions without falling apart by actively and positively coping with stress. This skill involves the ability to weather difficult situations without getting overwhelmed. Stress Tolerance includes having a repertoire of suitable responses to stressful situations. It is the capacity to be relaxed and composed and to calmly face difficulties without getting carried away by strong emotions.

People who have good stress tolerance face crises and problems rather than surrendering to the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. You are able to keep calm and maintain control. You will have an optimistic disposition toward new experiences and change.

Impulse Control

The ability to regulate one’s emotions and to resist or delay an impulse, drive, or temptation to act. It entails a capacity for dealing with one’s aggressive impulses, being composed, and controlling hostility and irresponsible behavior. Impulse control is basically self-control and self-regulation.

Problems in impulse control are manifested by low frustration tolerance, impulsiveness, anger control problems, abusiveness, loss of self-control and explosive and unpredictable behavior.

The General Mood Realm

This realm concerns the ability to enjoy life and the overall feeling of contentment. When elevated, it indicates optimistic, positive, hopeful, and cheerful individuals who know how to enjoy life. This realm is an essential element in interacting with others, and plays a motivational role in problem solving and stress tolerance. An enhanced general mood helps create an uplifting and positive atmosphere in the workplace.

Optimism (Short-term outlook)

The ability to look at the brighter side of life and to maintain a positive attitude even in the face of adversity. Optimism assumes a measure of hope in one’s approach to life. It is a positive approach to daily living. There is a strong connection between one’s degree of optimism and one’s ability to cope with problems.

Optimism plays an important role in overall self-motivation and is an important factor in reaching goals and coping with stress.

Happiness (Long-term outlook)

The ability to enjoy oneself and others, to feel satisfied with one’s life, and to have fun. Happiness combines self-satisfaction and general contentment with the ability to enjoy life. Happiness is associated with a general feeling of cheerfulness and enthusiasm.

Happy people often feel good and at ease both at home and at work and enjoy opportunities for having fun. Happiness is a barometric indicator of one’s overall degree of emotional and social intelligence and functioning.

Would you like to know more about the Bar-on EQ-i® Assessment?

Would you like to know your EQ score?

I Don’t Want a Resume: I Want a Brand

by Mitch Byers :: August 2nd, 2006 :: Posted in Enhancing Your Career |